So…I’m suffering from cough and cold and have been up all night coughing and throwing up. The kids stayed with their nan last night and daisy has a football match this morning. I drag my tired ill ass out of bed to meet her there. Wrapped up a lot and plodded across the field to watch her. I’m stood in the freezing cold rain and harsh winds when appears : mum take that wooly headband of it looks stupid.
Gratitude lives on.
Xavier (4yrs) to his nan: nanny i bet if i could bend over far enough i could lick my nuts
So, Daisy’s homework involves writing about triumphant sports legends. One of which she chose was Mohammed Ali. After bringing me her notes to check through I said “daisy you may have heard of a famous quote by him, Float like a butterfly and?….”.
She jumps in loud n proud “STING LIKE A BEAVER!”
…..was brought to you by a pair of Xaviers pants in the wash basket and a random bowl of stale cornflakes hidden within them.
So at my son and daughters school, they run a ‘buddy system’. This is where one child from a higher year mentors the reception class student.
At the dinner table tonight talking about Xaviers buddy to someone….
Me: yeah, so he’s Xaviers mentor at school…
Xavier:Yeah, i AM mental at school…
errrr…
Overheard Daisy singing in the car…
” Transormers, robots in the sky…”
7:00am
Me: Daaaaais, it’s time to wake up baby.
Daisy: ok I’m just waiting for this tortoise.
Me (from downstairs) kiiiids – your gonna be late! Have you finished tidying your room yet?
Kids in unison: yeah!
Me: come and get in the car then please…
Later I find this…
Sat at the dinner table eating dinner
Xavier (looking puzzled): mummy my bums breathing
Me(nearly choking): what??
Daisy (laughing her head of): whhhhaaaat??
Xavier: yeah like this (does a whistle type motion)
Turns out it’s just a silent but deadly fart.
