Wits end…..

Wed morn – a school day 7:30am

i like to always wake daisy in a gentle and quietish fashion, hes not big on alarms.

i walk into her room and stroke her face ever so slightly and whisper ‘daisy, its time to wake up’

with that she jumps out of bed frightening the life out of me and shouts “IVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS WAKING ME UP EVERYDAY STUFF – NOW LEAVE ME ALONE TO DO MY OWN THING, I QUIT SCHOOL, IM NEVER GOING AGAIN IM GOING TO SLEEP FOR  JOB.”

she then snuck back under her duvet and snuggles down looking like and angel…..a jekyll and hyde angel that is.

table manners

my kids have a mini table and chairs in the front room that they use for all kinds of activities including eating when we dont sit at the dining table.

on this particular day they had both sat down to a roast dinner when i hear daisy shout

“MUUUUUUM, Xavier is kicking me in the nuts!

 —-and there is my cue on explaining about genitalia etc….

calm down dear…..

just after bath time on a school night, both kids were in pj’s in Daisys room just deciding what film to watch for the night.

Xavier (2yrs): I WANT THIS ONE!

Daisy(8yrs):  No X’y, you made me watch that for the last 3 nights, i wouldnt mind a turn please.

Xavier: WWAAHHHHH – I WAAANNNNTTT TTHAAAAAAAAAAT ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEE…..

Very agitated  Daisy SHOUTS…..

: JESUS CHRIST XAVIER – FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CALM DOWN!!!!

cue a quite word from me to both of them. tut

Night Ninja….

Daisy has a rather bad rash under her lower lip.  Shes not a fan of having magic cream on, but reluctantly put some on before bed.  i put a tiny amount on with the knowledge i’d just put some on in her sleep without her knowing.

about 2am…..i creep intro her room and put some cream on.

To my total suprise, she jumped up shouting…

“NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU DO ALL NIGHT”!

Made in china.

so the kids are playing in Daisy’s room when i hear Daisy bump herself followed by a wimpering weep. Xavier pipes up in a chinese accent.  “Daisy, you no cly”

speechless.

Royalty in ones family…

Driving home in the car:

Daisy: mum, did you know the queen NEVER trumps?

Me: no i didnt dais.

Daisy: tis cos shes posh.  nanny trumps but it only smells a bit, she must be posh too.

Me: i guess so.

Recorder lessons…..

its gone past midnight.  both kids have been asleep for hours and hours.   Xavier is just getting over a cold and has a slightly blocked nose still.  his nose is whistling in his sleep

Xavier *whistles through his nose *

Xavier *whistles through his nose lots more*

Daisy (shouting in her sleep) “X – if you dont play that recorder properly im going to chuck it in the bin!”

sibling love rocks.

Farva Krissmuss

30th Nov:  Christmas tree went up

1st Dec: Xavier flies downstairs ” santas been! santas been!!!!”

took me half hour to explain that it was quite a while.

2nd Dec:  Xavier flies downstairs ” santas been! santas been!!!!”

took me half hour to explain that it was quite a while.

3rd Dec: Xavier flies downstairs ” santas been! santas been!!!!”

took me half hour to explain that it was quite a while.

Today (4th) you got it…..

this could be a long month.

The last Supper….

ok so myself and my daughter are ill in our beds.  my two and half year old son has pretty much gotten over his ear infection so is playing upstairs so i can keep my eye on him.   Pretend food is the toy of the hour.

Xavier: Mummy – i make you dinner – make you better

me: that would be excellent Xavier, thank you very much.

 —– i give him  few minutes in his room and listen to him preparing the dish—–

he comes into my room. hiding a basket of food behind his back. and puts a bowl on my lap

xavier: what you like mummy?

me: errrrrm eggs?

xavier: yes  –he puts some pretend eggs on my plate

me: vegetables?

–he puts lots of pretend veg on

me: chicken?

—-he puts a cute little full roast chicken on my plate

me:  bacon?

with that he reaches in his basket and puts in a toy figure – peppa pig.

*smart arse*

 

Warrior child.

In the car coming home from school.

Daisy:  Mum?

Me: yep?

Daisy: can i have some chewing  gum

Me:  wait til after dinner baby

Daisy: THATS NOT FAIR

Me: ok doo, chill out ok.

Daisy then lowers her eyebrows, does and air grab and makes a gruff voice and says:

I am now about to fight for power…….and justice.

 

Im still cacking myself.